Maybe it's the weather, the season, the people. Who knows.
I finally started reading a book my mom gave me YEARS ago about insecurity, a topic I am no stranger to, and it has certainly put me in a certain mood facing some personal issues. I am caught between looking out for #1 while not hurting everyone in my path and how to change without changing. I guess I go through these "who am I phases" like a roller-coaster and over-analyze aspects I've never paid attention to to a fault. I know I'm being extremely indistinct right now, so my apologies if you aren't getting anything out of this other than my vaguely scattered mind. I guess my best attempt at being more clear is to say, I'm feeling guilty about not spending time with people in my life, past and present, that are important to me. Along those lines, I have been spending a lot of time thinking about the relationships I am keeping up with to get a better sense of self. Kind of like football players watching their past games to see what they can improve on and then trying to change some aspect of muscle memory.
I also got the days of the week confused last night and made an entire batch of homemade tomato soup in a crock pot for a grilled cheese pot luck we are having at work Friday. I didn't have room in the fridge, so it didn't get saved.....:-\ So frustrating.....I'm too young for this.