Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Surly (Sir-lee)

The weather screams, I thunder, he cries, it shakes. I can't explain the past 4 weeks of my life. I just know that I want the next 7 done. Spoiler alert: this could end up to be a poignant post.

Stress is the basis for so much anger, detestation, and sentiment in this universe, it's not okay. If we were un-stressed humans, life would be way happier, obviously?

The cooling weather is cause enough to have me going stir crazy. The thought of snow covered roads, ruining new boots, and bitter cold have me disgusted.

52 days left of school. Even though the numbers seem to be decreasing, the it's still to many. I just want to be done. I'm tired of taking tests that distract me from work deadlines. I'm tired of homework that slashes my creativity. My art is on indefinite hold. I wake up the sun every morning and sing it lullaby's for bed. Me time seems non-existent when even my dreams threaten and challenge me.

 I'm stressed.

I want school to be done so I can look forward to bigger and better things. Right now I just roll my eyes to the uneducated underclassmen. I already spend 22 hours a week teaching. It's quite the lesson in management.

I got the new iPhone 5. It's quite the beauty. I guess after 5 years and 3 iPhones, I'm not as stunned as I was upgrading from a flip-phone to the iPhone. This is me being a product of the 21st century and living in a "first-world". I'm grateful.

I could talk more and vent more but I can't.

Monday, September 10, 2012


56 PEOPLE OPENED UP MY BLOG YESTERDAY! That's a high at least within MONTHS for a single day. Thanks for being interested in me, or at least bored enough to click over here.

67 days to graduation.

I'm 22 years old.

I keep playing over and over in my head all the things I have, all the opportunities I've had, and all the things I've learned.

I fear what may become of me. The point I am at could be the beginning of great change in my life. I can't stop thinking about my career. I've worked to be where I am. It didn't come easy. Now that I'm here I want more. You get educated to make money and be happy. Money doesn't create happiness and I'm on the deep end of persuading myself to stick to those principles. I'm being completely vague right now. I'm trying to say it's becoming way too easy to be sucked into having money be a motivator. I have been a poor college student with no money, a negative bank account, no savings, and bills to pay. Being in that situation, you look to the things you need and what makes you happy more than the fluffy stuff. Granted every second is spent worrying about how you'll pay everything off before money digs a deeper hole. I finally realize why my brother still drives a 200k+ mile 1990's Toyota Previa that, to me, seems like it's falling apart in every way possible. Why he lives in a duplex  on an air mattress (up until recently), doesn't have a dishwasher, cable, or a flat screen TV. Did I mention he is an aerospace engineer, with a Spanish concentration, masters in material science, and some other credentials I don't even know. It makes sense, even though I hardly see myself following in those footsteps.

I guess I'm glad to have people in my life that remind me of what's important when society suggests differently.

Luke 16:13 "No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."

Sunday, September 9, 2012


I've had my share of happy news since last winter and it all came together this week. I can finally talk about it. My first internship as an Industrial Engineer was last summer at ABB as I'm sure most of you are familiar. It was a great growing experience and I fell in love with the company and my job. This past February, I reconnected with my boss and coworkers and was invited back to work there. My internship was through a contract agency as well as when I went back to work this year. I got a couple dollar raise when I started back which I was more than thrilled about. After a couple months and some internal changes, I got the news that I was no longer an intern and I would get yet another large raise. As the summer progressed, and I've been counting the days til I graduate, my future career became more of a worry. I love my job, yet being contracted was not how I envisioned my future, so when other companies began to reach out to me asking for interviews, it was a tough decision whether I was going to pursue a job with a different company or keep my fingers crossed ABB would offer me something. Early August I received another piece of news that they were opening up an Industrial Engineering position through ABB. (In other words, my job.) I applied right away and in all fairness, my boss went through the interview process with other candidates. Although I was very sure the position was mine, nothing is ever certain until all is said and done. Well, this past Friday I was offered the job. Not only did they offer me the job but at the salary I asked for. :-O There was no thinking, I've thought about this enough that I accepted the job immediately. I was shaking so much on the way back to my desk, I'm surprised I made it. Months of questioning, hoping, and praying was answered. I HAVE A JOB! I graduate in 68 days. It's all working out so perfect and who am I to deserve it? Thank God! WOOHOOO

I am past my ears in debt from a private school that has given me a great education. I am blessed enough to have a better than average job before graduation to pay off my nice loans.

    Psalm 107:1
    "Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."

Wednesday, September 5, 2012


My alarm sounds at 5:30, bringing my restless dreams back to life. I manage to talk myself into not moving for the next half hour to which I smell the coffee brewing around 6 and throw my legs over to the side of the bed. Still asleep, I make it to the bathroom and turn on the light. The light feels like I'm looking directly into the sun. My 15 minute shower is all the time I have allotted to waking up and relaxing before the day truly begins. I go through my 20 minute routine of getting ready and professional, pour my thermos full of Medium Pike Place Roast Starbucks Coffee, feed my cat, and dart out the door. On the way to my car I'm collecting myself, making sure I have my work badge on, my work cell turned on, my shoes tied, and my hair in some sort of order. The 30 minute car ride  is filled with whatever music best describes the day. No morning talk shows. I hate hearing people in the morning. I feel as if the fellow commuters are my friends because I sit in traffic with them every day. The roads have ceased with vacationers. I get to work and say hi to everyone, the same as every day. Start my computer, and pray for no urgent emails.
The day is over and I can't wait to get home. To see my cat that is begging for my attention or to make dinner and relax. Sleep usually comes at 10-11pm depending on my exhaustion for the day. I certainly fill my day as to make up for all the years I slept until noon-1pm. My crazy dreams are back pretending they get a part of my day. Creating an imaginary world for a few short hours. As fast as I fell asleep, my buzzer is hounding me to get out of bed. And I think, where did yesterday go?

Routine is all too easy. It's a trap. As a continuous improvement engineer, routine is not my favorite. I'm always changing things and making them better. So how does it seem I fall into a routine? It's only when I think of it like this that I actually question my true fulfillment of the day. Oh well, I'm happy. Or too busy caught in my routine to not be happy.

On another note, my second day of school still sucked. A 3 hour physics lab with all sophomores really makes me question my sanity. When the prof. talks about needing this for your career, I laugh to myself. Being able to find the specific heat of water is a farce. Until every electronic equipment fails and I stop working for a global fortune 500 company, I don't care about specific heat of water. I'll have bigger issues if technology stops. HA.

Well, I have some nightly things to do before bed including some homework. UGH.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
Hebrews 13:8

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

I Got My Lunch Packed up and my Shoes Tied Tight

I started school today. I've actually only sat through 50 minutes of class so far. I'm sick of it. I have super-senioritis, let me explain. I've been working all summer with people older than me, not younger, so the freshman and underclassmen in general seem obscenely young and immature. I've learned lessons being in the "real world" professors seem to have failed to teach me. Yet I've learned so much in school I may never work with. I am spending my day PAYING for school instead of getting PAID to work. =Losing money, not making money. Tough situation. So when I sit through an hour class of learning what my classmates did this summer and that if there's a fire, leave the room, I know I could be doing more productive things with my time. If I hear "didn't you graduate?" one more time, I might lose it more than I already have. No, I did not graduate. That's why I'm here taking a required undergrad class with you, moron. I can't take class seriously when all I picture is walking the stage in my cap and gown. The next 11 weeks CAN NOT GO FAST ENOUGH. ugh.

To get my mind off things, I should talk about another topic. I am pretty frustrated today. Not to mention a deadline I was just given at work that severely complicates getting things done. Working half days cuts my time in half. A two week project just got pushed back to 4 weeks because I'm only working half the time. Theoretically, I could do work from home but when a GOOD portion of my time is spent in the factory, that just isn't possible.

Okay, so the topic of my deceased grandmother. I picked some items I wanted from her house and now that the entire family has gotten their chances to look, my mom is bringing some stuff home for me. I'll tell you about the rest at another time, but I want to talk about a ring I got. I like jewelry, that's why I choose some of her jewelry. This particular ring is black Alaskan diamond, with a silver band. I've now worn it all weekend and have received compliments from many people. It's not just a ring. It has a story. I wish I could hear the story from my grandma about the ring, but the reminder is enough. Whether it was a gift she received and didn't even like, or something she wore on special occasions, I like it. I have a feeling it may be worth about $50. The sentimental value is something that will last much longer than $50 in my pocket.