Saturday, February 25, 2012

Learn This

When I figure it out I'll be a millionaire, but until then, I just don't agree with american education. Tests are LIES and I completely disagree with the method of testing. Testing as in paper and pencil and no resources and time constrained. My memory is fairly bad for a 21 year old and compared to many of my classmates, but that does not make me dumb or any less smart than my classmates. Because of having bad short term memory, I have learned to use my resources, each and every one. It has made me very organized. I write down a lot of stuff and am very clean. Anyways, back to tests. Having a time constrained test is very nerve racking for me. My mind focuses on the time and less on the material at hand. I hate the feeling on a test when I'm missing a piece of information that I could find in one second if I just had my notes or the book but the lack of remembering it means points being taken away. Tests are also hard for me because I often feel like I'm trying to be tricked. Some professors don't mean to trick you and others purposely do. I do best on exams that require writing or speaking. I love writing papers. The trick is using the writing style the professor wants, but most of the time it's easy for me to explain myself and I usually don't have a problem making papers long enough. It could be that I've been writing for 15 years, in fact I know it is.
I was also never taught how to study at a young age. Some people have the talent but many do not.
My point is, I'm sure there are other people out there, like me, suffering because of the education system. Smart people whose talent is being drained because of the education system while others have it easy.
My high motivation is what has gotten me this far. Being told I can't and shouldn't do something is my motivation to do it. (School wise, not legal wise.)
So my advice to others that struggle through the dumb American education system, stick in there. If you want it, go get it. If all else fails turn on the song Tubthumping by Chumbawumba.

"For the Lord gives wisdom; From His mouth comes knowledge and understanding"
Proverbs 2:6

Sunday, February 19, 2012


This past weekend driving through miles of country terrain really got me thinking. I'm relatively young yet have lived in a number of very different locations. Everywhere from downtown St.Louis to a tiny town of 1,200 people in Oklahoma to downtown Milwaukee and places in between. Needless to say, I've lived in the country and I've lived in the city yet still asked myself this weekend which I prefer?
I've lived in Milwaukee for the past 4 years of my life. Every store a girl needs (wants) within close driving range (10 miles max). I've taken the bus with bums and been within blocks of violence. I am ever so used to cars, fire engines, police sirens, and yelling people outside my bedroom window. It puts me to sleep. Yet NOTHING beats seeing the stars on a clear night when you're in the country. Nothing beats the smell of a cow farm.
I am used to getting dressed up in dresses and 5" heels every weekend to go out and fit in with the other city girls. I drive like a Milwaukee resident. I know the roads to take during rush hour to avoid as much traffic as possible. I could tell you the top 5 restaurants of any style food I would recommend. I haven't used my GPS in months because I know how to get everywhere in Milwaukee, and I honestly rarely leave the city. Except this weekend.
Okay growing up in the country. Wearing torn up jeans to dinner on the weekend = totally acceptable. Following the speed limit is 10x easier because there's a less sense of rush. I drove a combine before I could drive a car.
I said this weekend that if I'm ever rich I want a house in the city and the country. But still don't know which I would like more. We'll just have to wait and see.

It's just extremely nice to get away from what you're used to and take a second to just think. Or not think.

This week is my 2nd semesters finals week. I have 2 exams and the biggest presentation of my undergrad career this week. (Woa that feels weird to say.) After this week I will have 9 classes left in college and will be graduating this November. My senioritis is as worse as ever I can't imagine what it will be like in the fall.

As always, keep me in your thoughts and prayers :) <3

Wednesday, February 15, 2012


I'm sitting in class, my body is anyways. The professor is talking a million words a minute but I might as well be listening to Chinese because nothing is being retained. My stomach is in my throat. I sit emotionless because everything is combined and confused. I want to throw up or cry or punch something, but I almost can't even move.

I'm overwhelmed. I'm nervous. I'm scared. I'm angry. I imagine this is the closest I've felt to a panic attack yet I sit motionless. What happened to my peace of mind and relaxation that I had just a short time ago?

I feel like if I let all my feelings out right now I could talk for hours.

Do I have a lot to say or nothing to say?

Saturday, February 4, 2012


This past week has been a complete roller-coaster ride for me. Extreme highs and lows within hours time frame. I feel like my life is being bipolar right now, not me. I'm usually fairly good with dealing with stressful situations especially because college has brought it's fair share in the past 4 years.
Job interviews and offers and uncertainty and answers. Love and fights.

I don't know how to go about this post because most of the roller-coaster from this week is fairly confidential.

I've had to prioritize. Simple things and complicated. Prioritize my homework, friends, life. I've had some thoughtful and deep conversations.

I first want to say how important God is in my life. It's hard for me to talk about this much and it's sometimes awkward because many people are scared away by overly enthusiastic Christians. But with my dad being a pastor, I've been raised around religion and know quite a bit about the bible I'd like to think. You don't have to have my beliefs, but respect them. I would like for my close friends to at least be Christian because it's a shared understanding.

After God comes my family. My parents and brother are the most important people on this earth to me. They come before anyone. I can't explain it if you don't understand.

The following things get cloudy. Right now school is third most important. Education is the future. It might become obsolete, but it's the experience and basis.

Just to be clear, I'm young and learning every day. Expect big things from this girl. xoxo

"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path" Psalm 119:105