Thursday, November 10, 2011


The past week has gone from unplanned, to even more unplanned for me. I'll start from the beginning and hopefully not leave out any detail, except the part when I was unconscious for 45 minutes.

For the past year my Grandma B has been in the nursing home after a stroke that severely worsened her health. We all hoped and prayed she would recover, but that was the end of her walking or being able to use her whole left side. Her memory also dwindled which is always a hard thing for family members. My family spent that year to visit her weekly in the nursing home and spend holidays with her. The decline was gradual, but that's what happens when you're 86. I think the severity hit me this year at Easter when she asked my brother if I was his wife. That was hard for me to hear, but I still loved her and realized it probably just wasn't the best day for her memory. So 2 weekends ago, my mom called to tell me my grandma was very sick and taken to the hospital ICU. They first found out when she came down with pneumonia, then discovered she had a bowel obstruction and an elevated heart rate. The bad news seemed to keep coming. Last Monday I knew it was important for my grandma and mom that I go see her. We sat by her hospital bed for almost an hour which was calming for me as it would become my last goodbye. She was quite talkative for the condition she was in. In the following days my mom told me how my grandma would talk about being thankful Berea came to visit. That meant a lot to me because a few months earlier she did not even know me. Throughout the week her condition worsened until God called her home Saturday morning. That is the closest person in my life to ever pass away, which made the transition very hard for me. It was calming to know she had a strong faith and said multiple times her place was ready in heaven. We all know she is in a better place now which is a calming thought. My mom and I both talked about the tears being from our jealousy at times, haha.

So, last Friday was also a changing point in my life. I've noticed my eyes have become worse when driving at night or not being able to see things far away that I used to. I had an eye appointment Friday for the first time since I was a kid and found out I'm getting glasses. It's weird. I hope they help and don't make me look stupid.

For weeks my boyfriend and I planned to go to Chicago for his sister-in-laws 30th birthday last weekend which is what we did. We left Friday night in hopes of getting up early to go shopping. I've never been to Chicago to hang out before and was so excited. Unfortunately, I woke up with a horrible throbbing/stabbing pain in my mouth that had gradually gotten worse since the middle of the week. I was in a lot of pain and wanted to go home. Well, my dad found a dentist that was open in Chicago that I went to see. After finding out my grandma died in the middle of the night. So I go to the dentist to find out my wisdom teeth are coming in and I had an infection under one. The dentist told me to get them taken out within the next week. So, between my grandmas' funeral and surgery yesterday, I've been out of school this whole week.

This week is my 10th week and since I'm on trimesters, next week is finals. SOOO this week is the last week before finals. I.WANT.TO.CRY. I HAVE been crying. I've told all my teachers, some of which understanding, others not at all. These haven't been planned things. When I have an infection, it could get worse...and I can't plan deaths.

So it's been about 30 hours since my surgery and I'm really sore. Yesterday wasn't as bad cause I was numb and on pain killers, but today I'm all puffy and swollen and sore. I'm still taking my meds, but OUCH. I tried eating chicken and rice soup and couldn't even do it today. I feel sick and weak.

Genesis 3:19 For dust you are and to dust you shall return

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