Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The Weather and My Life

When things are great, it's inevitable something will happen. Roller coasters don't end at the highest point.

I'm a firm believer in happiness. Apart from my religious beliefs, I believe being happy is the most important life lesson. Possibly the best emotion, in my eyes. So why do things that are unpleasing/unhappy? Yet, as humans, we still do.

I feel like the worst part of my childhood, besides having crappy friends and being bullied, was moving so much. Which was possibly the best thing. In my eyes, as a little girl, when things were bad with my friends, we moved. Obviously that's not why my parents moved, but I saw it as being able to run away from my problems. Granted all the moving gave me great experiences and cultured me well.

So is it time to fly?

Am I happy?

.....Now what

John 14:1
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God"

So, it's getting cold.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Ovals and Triangles

My life has begun a new rotation of scheduled activities and routine as with most starts of school years and as I've discussed before. The trains outside my house are the worst from 6am-9am. My window faces east and my bed rests in perfect view which invites the sun to welcome me to each and every day. The cats accompany me during my getting ready phase. I drive through a miniature rush hour through downtown to campus. I plan and schedule constantly making sure all events are carefully scheduled in my planner for the upcoming days/weeks. I think about my "to do's". Today they happen to be; finding lighting for my room that will probably be a trip to goodwill, getting my nails fixed (I broke one and it hurts), working out, and finding new sunglasses (I stepped on mine). I'm going about this day figuring out when/how to accomplish those tasks.

Do I need to go grocery shopping? Do I have at home what I want for lunch? What homework do I need to do?

I didn't even have coffee this morning and listen to me...

I watched the Roast of Charlie Sheen on Comedy Central the other night. Honestly, I got bored and stopped paying attention. Many of the jokes were crude or I didn't understand them. I then watched Two and a Half Men because of the whole issue of Ashton Kutcher taking over the lead role of Charlie Sheen. It shouldn't have been made such a big deal. I watched the TV show E.R. my whole childhood as a result of it being my moms favorite show. But anyways, actors/actresses come and go. It keeps you interested.

I'm hungry.

Thanks for reading-stay posted

Wednesday, September 14, 2011


According to wikipedia, a test is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

I hate getting into politics. I hate having a point of view because I'm often indifferent or see both sides. BUT, there's one topic I have a strong opinion on. American education.

This is controversial. You won't all agree with me. You might get offended, and I apologize.

I've struggled with school my whole life. I've been told I don't study enough, I don't try hard enough, and it's made me feel like a dumb student. It makes me not want to try or study even though I do. Testing me doesn't help me learn. It criticizes me, belittles me, makes me anxious, and nervous. I'm not dumb, but tests make me feel dumb. I'm a bad test taker but I'm an amazing realist. I'm creative and testing just makes me feel standardized. I believe my learning has been inhibited because of the American education system. In the real world, you don't sit down every day/week and get tested on your work. Not with a written form asking questions if you're doing your job right. It's dumb and I hate it.
I hate also being segregated into grades. You don't even have anything in common with your classmates except your age. Why not divide into levels? People of similar learning styles and smartness are grouped.
I hate the un-reality of school. High school mostly. Why are we sheltered from the real world? Why are tank tops not allowed? How come I was never exposed to the types of careers out there? Why did I never learn how to take out a college loan or set up a retirement fund? There was such a strict guideline of learning. I'm not like the majority of kids, so I don't learn the same. I feel like college was such a change/shock for me. It was dumb. I was unprepared. I blame high school for ill-preparing me.

I don't necessarily believe in homeschooling. Just because it cuts out the social aspect of school. Home schooled kids interact, but not like kids at school. Parents might want to shelter their kids from school type behavior, but that's dumb too, because sheltering your kid is dumb.

I don't know much, but Montessori school is the best idea of school in America, I believe. Research it if you're not familiar. It's independent, hands-on, fun.

I'm just writing because I've been jipped in school. I think I could be smarter if I would have been given the correct chance or been taught "right". I'm a good people person. I've excelled in every job I've had. I learn fast. I have fun in my jobs.

School just isn't for me, but will pay off in the end I believe.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Memories, nightmares

With less than 24 hours until the 10th anniversary of an event that will always be remembered in American history, the memories flood back like it was just last year. I feel compelled to write about my account of the event since I was among the youngest age group to remember the event. I also believe I relate a little closer to the event than most people for a reason I will soon explain.

September 11, 2001. I was a mere 6th grader. In my second month of middle school. I lived in Sabetha, KS, a small rural town in a class of about 50 kids. It was about 9:00am, I was in my 1st class of the day, art class. We were cleaning up as first period was almost over when an announcement came over the speaker. It was the principle to tell us some planes had crashed. My first thought was that there had been an accident at the Sabetha airport, and I didn't really know anyone that would have been working out there, so it vaguely crossed my mind. He told us all to report to our "pods". Each grade gathered around the TV's we had in our pods. Reality hit 6th grader Berea Janzen. As soon as I saw the towers, I knew what was happening. Most of my classmates had no idea what the twin towers were, where they were or anything.

Rewind 2 months. July 2001. My family took a vacation out to the east coast visiting most of the states from Pennsylvania to Maine, including New York and New York City. We spent a day in New York City, shopping, site seeing, etc. We went to Ellis Island and climbed to the crown of the Statue of Liberty. I vividly remember taking a picture of my mom on the Statue of Liberty with the twin towers in the background because I was too cool to be in the picture. We made it back to New York City as it was getting later. My mom had planned to visit the world trade centers and although we were tired, we were all down to go. Walking downtown as the vendors all wanted you to buy their hot dogs and I <3 NYC t-shirts, we made it to "ground zero" as it's now called. I remember walking up to this sphere thinking it was so cool.

World Trade Center Plaza - New York City, New York

That same sphere after the attacks:

Entering the building was another unique experience. As I remember, the first floor was somewhat of a circle. It was bright as the sun was setting and reflected through all the windows. In the center you could look down to the floor below. The flags of each of the states hung. In case I didn't explain that well, here's a picture of my memory. (Not taken by me.)

We walked around to the booth that sold tickets to visit the 107th floor. We got to the booth and my parents argued if we should go on the tour because it was expensive. I was too young to pay attention to how much it costed, but they decided we would do it anyways because we had gone all that way. So, my mom bought the tickets and we continued around the circle to security. There was a metal detector and security guards that checked our purses/bags. My family got on the elevator to make the 107 story climb. I remember my ears popping a lot and of course my dad was making jokes with the elevator operator. I remember him making some joke about the Hoover Dam, weird enough. We eventually reached the top floor. The carpet was designed like a street, with yellow dashed lines, etc. You could see the entire city, the view was incredible. the windows were floor to ceiling, they had telescopes you could pay to use. There were gift shops and restaurants. They also had a theatre type room. My family decided to watch the tour in the theatre room. It gave a tour of Manhattan as if you were in a plane flying around downtown. It was cool. There was a room with a replica model of Manhattan with the trade centers the feature point sticking out above the rest of the city. Our family actually has a picture of it. We had also planned to go to the observatory deck, which would have been the 110th floor, but we were the last tour of the night, the sun was setting, and the workers had closed the deck because the dew was already setting and it was getting slippery. I can't tell you how thankful I am that our family didn't go up there. My nightmares would have been even worse after the attacks. We finished the tour and ended our day in NYC.

Jump back to September 11, 2001. I was watching the news of the crashes happening. The planes flying into the very place I had just been on vacation. I knew what was happening. I was crying. I was thinking about each worker my family had talked to. All the tourists who were visiting just like we were on that top floor. The security guards that had checked my backpack. The elevator I had rode up. The theatre I had sat in. Everything was flashing back. I didn't know how to respond, I didn't know what was going to happen even moments or hours from 9:00 that morning. School had virtually stopped. We spent the morning watching the news as it progressed and the towers eventually fell. It was a nightmare. Can you imagine the nightmares I had in the weeks following? It hit close to home.

I never knew anyone specifically that worked there on a first name bases. But I had been there. It gives me chills. Every year brings back memories. It's crazy to think it's been 10 years since then. I'm now a senior in college.

My prayers go out to the 2,753 family's that lost loved ones, friends that lost friends, and anyone else affected by the tragedy.

I will never forget.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Oh The Irony

...I love school?

Well, no. I love learning....about things I like and am interested in.

I started my senior year of college this week. I'm growing up. I'm grown up? People are teaching me new things every day whether they realize it or not. On top of being pounded with information in my classes, which are;
Digital Circuits and Microprocessors
Ethics for Engineers
Design for Quality
Senior Design
Electromagnetism and Optics

I love my new apartment. It's a loft type place by the third ward. It's pretty. I like my roommates, finally. I went grocery shopping this week so I finally have food in the fridge and places for my things.

I miss my internship, but I have to be positive about opportunities I'll have this school year. I received my senior design project this morning. That's exciting. I'll miss the income I was making this summer. But honestly, my education is more important than money, it will work itself out.

Sorry I haven't been very up to date with my blogging. Summer is meant to be spent in nice weather enjoying your free time. So any free time I had, wasn't spent on my computer. Hopefully I'll have some more time to blog now that it's getting cold?

My best friend Alyssa got a job this past week in her career path. She graduated with an associates degree in dental assisting and finally got a job about 6-9 months later. Yayyy.

My plans to go skydiving this weekend I think have been put off. I haven't talked to my brother recently sooooo I don't think that is happening :-\. I'm bummed, but I really haven't had time to plan....I'll blame growing up.

I talked to the freshman class of Industrial Engineers this morning. It's crazy remembering being in their seat and how much I've seriously learned since then, it's crazy. I'd love to be a mentor of what I've learned and my experiences. But it was great answering questions.

First week of school, check.