Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Fathers Day

I have a few random comments on this gloomy Sunday fathers day evening. I can't sleep for numerous reasons and I found myself at bereaj.blogspot searching for an answer to calm my mind. Writing it is...

I haven't decided which I dislike more; being alone or being a 3rd wheel. I might be somewhat sick right now. I think sick is a mental thing, but I also think I have a weak immune system. Or maybe it's me thinking I'm weak that makes me think I'm sick. haha. My throat's been hurting, my nose running, and my eyes are not perfect. My throat always hurts with any chance of me being sick. Might it be my tonsils?

I went shopping in the ghetto today. I knew what I was getting in to, but it was broad daylight so I wasn't really worried. It was just awkward being the token out-of-place white girl. I hate going into grocery stores I'm not familiar with in the first place 'cause you look lost and that wasn't the place I wanted to look lost in...the two people ahead of me in line used food stamps. Thank God for everything I have and don't have (kids).

I had a random sequence of events happen to me at one point this weekend. First, I won tickets to Road America for next weekend through a radio station. Within minutes of that happening, I found $20 on the ground. It put me in an awkward position because someone obviously lost 20 bucks but what should I have done with it? Leave it on the ground for a different random stranger to find? It wasn't in some store that I could have turned it in...Donate it? All sorts of questions...

Back to work tomorrow. I need espresso beans so I can start making my morning coffee at home...

K, I really need to go to bed.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


Big number?
I could get a cheap Rolex watch for 7.5G.
The eiffel tower weighs 7,300 tons.
The great flood possibly happened 7,000 years ago.
7,500 miles could get you from mexico to alaska in about 4 days of straight driving.
I'd be more than happy in a 7,500 sq ft house...

But 7,471 is the exact number of days I've been alive.
I'm thankful for each one. 20 years old might sound young to many people, but seven thousand four hundred seventy-one is a big number to me. I've done a lot. I'm satisfied at where I am. For a 20 year old, I'm proud of myself. It's taken me a while to see and I've had rough patches and my fair share of doubt and unhappiness.
My parents are really awesome. I can't describe it and I don't know how to I'll leave it at that. If you want to argue, you'll have to get through Isaiah and I.

I'm just thankful for a lot of things right now and it feels so good to have that peace. I feel like the past year has been rough for me, I don't know why and I don't want to say I'm suddenly better, but something's changed. I didn't know getting an internship would change my attitude so much...
It's way past my bedtime...

Happy 7,472nd day to me! :-D

Thanks for your support.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

You did WHAT Berea?

Holy long day...I was up around 4:30 this morning. Had a test in my class tonight. I'm pooped.
To understand why I was up at 4:30, you need to understand a few other things first.

So my internship is still going great. But I haven't really had a chance to explain what I do. I never thought I'd get to the same point as my brother that I'm not sure I could explain what I do well enough for the average person to understand what that is. Either that or I'd oversimplify and make my job sound super easy, which I'd like to think not everyone could do. SO...
My daily activities include dealing with SAP, Kanban, BOM's, product schematics, adding routings for new products, hearing PEARL every two minutes, learning the ins and outs of NOV, learning about transformers, breakers, starters, fuses, contactors, calculating resources, and presenting efficiency metrics at a daily production meeting. After hearing this, what do you understand/what don't you understand? My fellow colleagues know or could figure out most of it. My coworkers probably know it all. My parents maybe know a couple things on the list. The point is; that's what I do.
So now to explain why I was up at 4:30 this morning. I've been working on a project. We call it the NOV project. NOV is the name of the product my project revolves around. Anyways, for my project, one task I needed to complete was to make a resource calculator. This uses all sorts of data (demand, production times, quality checks, packaging, takt time, etc.) to produce a number that tells how many people should be working on producing that product based on demand. Well, NOV is an 8' x 5' product that takes one person about 8 hours to make. So I've been learning EVERYTHING about NOV. In making the resource calculator I've been timing exactly how long it takes to make one and do quality checks and package this thing. So I needed this info by Thursday because my boss is doing a presentation with the info from research. SO, I had to be at ABB by 6:00, which is about the time I figured I'd need to start timing the worker. Well, traffic was a piece of cake at 5-5:30am so I got there a little early. The good thing was that I was done by 3 and had a couple hours to study for my test tonight...

Whew. I had an energy drink so that I wouldn't fall asleep before my test so I'm not as tired now as I should be. And I forgot to make dinner along the way and am going to bed soon..

Can't wait to have this weekend off <3 :)

Monday, June 13, 2011

I don't go around FIRE expecting not to sweat

I like adrenaline. (To a point) I like trying new things and seeing new places. I hate the feeling of uncertainty when things could go really wrong but praying they go great. I'm very scheduled and make lists so I don't forget things and stay on track.
I like being the driver so that I'm in control yet like not having control and being uneasy about where I'm going. It builds trust. I have a hard time trusting. Although, I don't think I am untrustworthy at all..
I think money should be used to gain experiences but you should be able to have fun for free.

I have two sayings I think about quite often. 1-"Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it and remove all doubt." 2- "Prepare for the worst, pray for the best."
I get shy around new people. My friends would never describe me as shy. But I think it helps establish a foundation. It helps me learn who I'm around and makes it so I don't make a bad first impression, if anything I don't talk much so I can't sound dumb. As I become comfortable, I open up.
As for the other quote, I was just thinking about it cause I took some dumb online quiz for kicks. It was to determine whether you're a pessimist, optimist, or realist. Funny it determined I was a realist. I was kind of hoping for something more exciting, but it was just an online test...I guess I tend to think negatively about situations knowing there's a potential for it to be awesome. I've found that when the situation doesn't go as it should, I'm not as disappointed because I was prepared. Oppositely, when it turns out better, I get more excited because I try not to have high expectations..

Does sorry ever lose its meaning? Can you over use it?...I might just be guilty of that. I'm scared of messing up or being judged so I'm quick to apologize. I also don't like when things are my fault so I guess I think if I say sorry, it will all be fine. But I often say it too much, I am realizing. Am I supposed to teach myself to not care if I offend/hurt someone? I don't like that...but saying sorry is habit.

I can't let these long days catch up to me. When I'm tired, it's time to sleep..

Sunday, June 12, 2011

I Can't Wait for Summer

Wisconsin sucks. June 12th, 48 degrees? That's just not okay.

As for other news, I'm thinking about oxymorons. You all know what they are, but I'm talking about in social behavior. This might get complicated and I'm no psychology professional, just the way I see the world. And you have to deal with it because it's my blog ;) haha.
So, I would like to think part of my personality comes from this idea...
I hate when people say how they are but act different. I think everyone does it to a point, but all the time just gets annoying. For example, saying you're a really relaxed person yet in a stressful situation are anything but relaxed. I've been working on not being that person. Or more specifically, trying to establish myself well enough to know who I am and what I do based on past experiences and how I react in situations to be able to say the truth. It's hard. You want to make yourself look like a good person, you want to think you're a good person, but no ones perfect....I also think you change depending on certain situations and might act on both sides of the aspect. Sorry if this is confusing, I would be more specific or try to relate this to something I'm thinking of, but I'm not really thinking specifically...

So, this summer I want to:
Go to the zoo soon
Go to 6 flags
Go skydiving
Ride a horse
Go to the Dells
Watch the sunrise
Go water skiing
Visit Elkhart Lake/Road America

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Outta Sight, Outta Mind

And out of breath.

I'm not a pro runner. I don't even run to compete. So I'm not ashamed to say I like running on a treadmill better than in mother nature which is what I did today. I am horrible at setting a pace which makes me start out at a sprint and get dead tired when I'm still a mile or more away from home. Running in the city you have to worry about stop lights and traffic and dumb drivers. And of course I'm out of shape and pushed myself past the point of running for the sake of a cardio workout. Back to the outside/inside thing though, I just find it a shame to run inside during summer...

BUT!, no matter where I run, it's my favorite form of thinking and relieving stress (and I don't do it often enough). Eight hours at work, I don't want to think about that (yet I do..), 2 hours of business law, I don't want to think about that, so I'm left thinking about my friends.....

My social life took a complete turn last week with the start of a 40 hour work week. Going from being in school 4-5 days a week with people my age and hanging out every night with people my age to maybe 2-3 nights of seeing friends. Being in school I could manage staying up 'til 2-3am because I didn't have class until 10 or so and had breaks between classes to relax and eat and whatnot. Now I'm "that person" that always has the excuse I have to be up at 6am for work and can't do anything. Berea Janzen, with an excuse to stay in. I'm not complaining, I'm adjusting. Granted not getting a text every 10 minutes is sad for me :-p I know rough life....

So this post is dedicated to my friends. Those who I fail to contact over long periods of time and those who forget me over periods of time. It all brings about the question; Is it being too busy that brings that gap or that they're unimportant and you forget them? It could be either but who wants to admit they forgot about you. I mean, I'd like to thing I leave an impression that people won't forget to talk to me, but I'll just tell myself to keep dreaming, haha. I often hear that about high school friends that lose contact in college. "I haven't talked to them for the past 4 years, I can obviously do without." I hear. Well, this is somewhat true, but why think like that? We all change.

Anyways, I was more thinking my close friends when I started this blog. My best friends that I don't hear from for days. We all have busy lives, but I hate the feeling of giving all my effort when you give none. I hate being so busy, that I just want time alone and can't hang out or call you. :(

This is my last weekend at the restaurant. I enjoyed my short stay, but am glad I will have my weekends back. At least a couple days to see friends I haven't forgot about ;)

Well, only 8 days left til I get a day off. Better than the 18 I started with....

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Scatterbrained and Satisfied

40 hour weeks are amazing. I get SO much done. So much.

I got my computer set up at work today. This is a big deal because everything these days is done on the computer and I had been using coworkers computers which has been annoying and inefficient. Anyways, I got my laptop, docking station, and I think a 24" extra monitor screen. It's amazing. It's mine. (Relatively speaking). Along with a computer came an e-mail address. So I officially have an ABB e-mail. Kind of exciting, and a little scary. It's weird having a work phone, computer, e-mail, because they are strictly for work and although it'd be nice to show off, I don't want the whole world exposed to my work stuff obviously.

I worked on my project more today at work. I should be done with all the prelim stuff tomorrow. Then to decide how to move forward. Exciting non the less! :)

I sat in traffic too long today. It's a little frustrating to be jerking back and forth in your car as you accelerate and brake with traffic. I've been in the habit of beginning every day with a Hazelnut iced coffee from McDonalds for under $2. They're so good and give me caffeine to wake up at 7am. But, it's money that doesn't NEED to be spent :-\. I need to get espresso beans to start making lattes here at home. Maybe make a big batch and keep it cool? Aka iced coffee? I should...

So my dad had a question about the capabilities of a problem being solved in Excel. I was kind of excited because I've done so much school work with Excel, but his was a legit question. Well it took me all of 20-30 minutes to figure out. :)

Spent the past hour or 2 customizing colors on a bike for my brother. Excited to see what he chooses...

I know I've had a productive day when I find time to blog because it's not something I have to do, but like doing when I have time. Hobby?

Alright, I'm going to spend the next hour reading ads and reading ahead for Business Law...
Night world

Sunday, June 5, 2011


I don't know if it was the amount of actual sunlight I saw this weekend or the usual Berea that I have endless emotions tonight.

Here it is, not even 10 on a Sunday summer night and I am at my house, laying in bed, crazy tired. Friday night I stayed in. Not necessarily on purpose, because I fell asleep and happened to wake up at 6:30am on Saturday, that's the first time in forever I have voluntarily gotten up before 10 on a Saturday. I honestly can't remember. Yet it felt SO good. I did house work, cleaning, cooking, laundry, I got so much done. I went to the beach Saturday from 11am-4pm. My arms got a little red, which is so exciting after spending months in a tanning bed! Saturday night I hung out with some girl friends. Woke up 8ish this morning. Worked my restaurant job at 11, done at 3. Went to the beach for a couple more hours of sun and heat. I watched a movie at my friends tonight. It was a great weekend and I feel very satisfied from it.

I decided to begin a spreadsheet of my spending habits. It's a little annoying tracking all my purchases, but I think for the better and if I get used to it, it'll be able to help me. I still have to figure out some of the technical stuff of Excel, but nothing I haven't been exposed to before.

I go back to work tomorrow. I'm still excited. I've been thinking about my project on and off all weekend trying to think of ideas which is 'exciting'. (I say excited/ing way too much.) I'm still getting used to waking up at 6am. It's weird, and I'm scared of sleeping in. Hopefully my body will adjust quick and I won't have to worry about not waking up.

I feel a bit more settled at my new place. I organized some more stuff and put up pictures in my room which feels great. I need to go to walmart or someplace to print off more current pictures sometime in the near future.

I went grocery shopping today. It was fun. I stuck to the ads and went in with no list, only the objective of finding something to make for lunch. In under $25 I walked away with 3 full bags of groceries. I found some amazing deals and stocked up on some good food. Again, like I said, it was fun.

I saw my ex roommate at the beach this weekend. There are still many hostile emotions I have for the situation. She emotionally hurt me so bad it's hard not to have angry feelings toward her :-\

ANYWAYS, I felt productive this weekend. Even though I don't think that's exactly what's contributing to my over-tiredness. Hmm, whatever.

I have one weekend left at the restaurant, aka 3 shifts. It's for the better. I'm working a 40 hour week, I don't know how I'd be able to handle 2o hour weekends on top of that. OH and a 3 credit class. Yikes. Way to go at over-planning again Berea. It'll be better when my weekend job is cleared. Sad, but necessary.

Alright, time to begin my nightly routine of finding an outfit and packing a lunch. Sweet dreams world. <3

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Interning into something beautiful

I can now say I've made it through my first week as an intern. YAY me! It's honestly awesome, I sometimes have a hard time finding a place to begin. I love the professional atmosphere. Being a part of a mature staff, it's weird being at the bottom of the totem pole, in the office at least. I don't mind it because I'm learning so much, and that's really a good thing. It's also exciting being able to offer my advice and input as an intern and applying what I'm learning in school. Okay, it's only the first week, but I've already gotten my feet wet.
I've met sooo many people. I find it weird meeting someone and them being introduced with their job title. Why is this weird to me? Because as a college student, when I meet people, it's always like; what are you going to school for? But here, it's their job. They're the people I'm working for/with. I have a title. Not a big deal, just my first exposure to 'the real world' per say.
I had lunch this week with about 10 "IE's". Why I put quotes is because they either graduated as an IE or do IE work, anyways, TEN! That is over half the size of my IE class at MSOE and I was eating lunch with them. Exciting.
I've attended various meetings. I get to see how ABB is organized and the atmosphere of the staff. I get to see how different people relate and act. I find it fun.
I spent a couple hours this week doing manual labor. I helped grind conduit and attach bushings to them. It's a different story as to why I was doing it, but it was a good experience. I had never used a grinding wheel before (I don't know if they knew that, but I caught on). I only walked away with a minor sliver from a piece of metal, not bad.
I've met mostly all of the production employees. I think that's awesome! I'm glad I'm already establishing a relationship with the people whom I want to trust me. Production is so important.
I might (most likely) will be joining a soccer league through work. :) why not?
I kind of began my summer project today. I was basically on the production floor asking questions. Talking to employees and finding out what they do. What they don't like. What they do like, etc. It's nice to hear it from them because everyone has aspects they like and don't like about their job, and for them, I'm someone to listen to those things and try and accommodate them and improve production.
Like I said, I've already learned so much this week I can't put it in one post. I could talk all day about the company, or just the factory, or the people, or what I do, or what goes on, but I have to save something for a different day. :) Enjoy your weekend! I know I will be.