Thursday, March 3, 2011

Figure me out

Once again; there's not a day that doesn't go by about me thinking about writing on my blog. A topic I talk about that triggers so many thoughts that I feel I could talk about for hours. Or I get mad at someone and I just want to vent and think about my blog. But yet I open up to bereaj.blogspot.com and I feel like I don't want to talk to the world anymore. I don't want to anger or offend anyone and sometimes I feel like my true thoughts might do just that and in that case, it's not good to vent. But I have come to the point I have too many things I'm thinking about.

I finished my second semester of this year. It was a bad semester for me, I really struggled. I don't know why. But it's one of those that I thank God for what I learned and I need to move on and pray I do better this semester.

Money is lacking right now. A LOT. Living paycheck to paycheck hoping my bank account doesn't go negative is such a bad feeling. It's so depressing but with how hard school is, it's really hard to fathom getting a second job...

This next topic is something I've really tried avoiding on my blog but it's time to vent. I'm looking for a new apartment/roommates. I am not comfortable in my own place anymore. I don't know what I did to come to this. It honestly makes me feel sick that I can't live with people that used to be my close friends. Did I do something to ruin our relationships? Have we just grown apart? Whatever it is; it's not the same as it once was and it bothers me every day.
Speaking of; my bathroom drain is clogged and I literally can't shower in it. SO GROSS.

My weight continues to bother me daily. I over analyze everything. I get on the scale and yet don't believe whatever it says. I try on my clothes and swear what I'm seeing in the mirror isn't what everyone else sees. When people look at me I wonder what they're thinking about me. I eat dinner and feel so full after like I gained 5 pounds. It's annoying to say the least. But I can't help it...

I wish I knew what I was doing this summer. It's coming way too fast.

So none of this is what I actually meant to talk about tonight. But now I'm tired so the rest will have to wait. Sorry for the crabbiness, didn't mean to be..
I always end up talking about school, money, friends, and weight. They must really bother me. Or I don't talk to them to anyone else so I feel it necessary to blog about them.

1 comment:

  1. Relationships are built on communication. If you really feel that these relationships are tarnished, then what would it hurt to ask why? You may not save the living situation, but you may be able to save a friendship. It never hurts to ask, and ask for forgiveness if you've hurt them in some way.

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