Once again; there's not a day that doesn't go by about me thinking about writing on my blog. A topic I talk about that triggers so many thoughts that I feel I could talk about for hours. Or I get mad at someone and I just want to vent and think about my blog. But yet I open up to bereaj.blogspot.com and I feel like I don't want to talk to the world anymore. I don't want to anger or offend anyone and sometimes I feel like my true thoughts might do just that and in that case, it's not good to vent. But I have come to the point I have too many things I'm thinking about.
I finished my second semester of this year. It was a bad semester for me, I really struggled. I don't know why. But it's one of those that I thank God for what I learned and I need to move on and pray I do better this semester.
Money is lacking right now. A LOT. Living paycheck to paycheck hoping my bank account doesn't go negative is such a bad feeling. It's so depressing but with how hard school is, it's really hard to fathom getting a second job...
This next topic is something I've really tried avoiding on my blog but it's time to vent. I'm looking for a new apartment/roommates. I am not comfortable in my own place anymore. I don't know what I did to come to this. It honestly makes me feel sick that I can't live with people that used to be my close friends. Did I do something to ruin our relationships? Have we just grown apart? Whatever it is; it's not the same as it once was and it bothers me every day.
Speaking of; my bathroom drain is clogged and I literally can't shower in it. SO GROSS.
My weight continues to bother me daily. I over analyze everything. I get on the scale and yet don't believe whatever it says. I try on my clothes and swear what I'm seeing in the mirror isn't what everyone else sees. When people look at me I wonder what they're thinking about me. I eat dinner and feel so full after like I gained 5 pounds. It's annoying to say the least. But I can't help it...
I wish I knew what I was doing this summer. It's coming way too fast.
So none of this is what I actually meant to talk about tonight. But now I'm tired so the rest will have to wait. Sorry for the crabbiness, didn't mean to be..
I always end up talking about school, money, friends, and weight. They must really bother me. Or I don't talk to them to anyone else so I feel it necessary to blog about them.