Monday, January 31, 2011

Opportunity Costs

I believe any decision is hard if it comes with an opportunity cost. I also believe most decisions do. I would say all, but I was taught in high school you can't say "all" because of generalization and fallacies and whatnot. So I'll stick with "most".
A lot of opportunity costs do deal with money, but a lot don't.
The cost of me taking the opportunity to go to California is losing money. The cost of me hanging out with friends during the weekday is risking losing focus on school. You get the point.
My bank account was drained by over $700 today due to different costs and expenses, none of which were by enjoyment or pleasure to me. How ironic the church service this Sunday dealt with giving 10% to God. I'll give some shoes or clothes? Does that count? Because I don't have much money. :-\
Okay, there's more to life than money which is why I won't bask on this issue. I'm in college, I have college expenses, it just puts a weight on my shoulders and I know it won't be like this forever.
Today was the start of 8th week. 8/10 weeks. So close, I will get through this semester. It's just going to be a little ugly.

Let's talk about this "huge" snow storm that's supposed to hit us for the next 48 hours. We got maybe 1-2" here in Milwaukee this afternoon when the storm stopped. I've heard predictions all over the board as to how much we're supposed to get all the way up to 20" by Wednesday. If this happens. Milwaukee is going to be a mess. It already kind of is. Professors are already prepared to cancel classes. As my dad always says: "WE SHALL SEE".

On another note: I wish I had cable in my room...

Thursday, January 27, 2011

no se

Too much homework and 2 quizes tomorrow.
Maybe if I do better in school I'll feel better.
Not like I haven't been trying....

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


I just ran across one of the most awesome websites.

It is titled: 20 Things I've Learned from Traveling Around the World for Three Years

In my limited number of traveling experiences, yet more than the majority of people in my age group, I can relate quite well to most of the points. So, I am going to list the 20 points this website lists and explain my point of view from my experiences...

1. People are generally good
We all have the idea you have to be tough so that you don't get pushed around by stronger people. Relatively speaking.
Okay, but in my traveling, there are plenty of people willing to help you out, give you advice/ suggestions, and give something or some piece of information you don't have.

2. The media lies.
WOW. I can't tell you enough how much I can verify this. Hurricane Katrina is the first thing that comes to my mind. My whole childhood my dad, almost religiously, turned on the nightly news at 5:30pm as we sat down for dinner. I saw multiple times different disasters that affected the world, and U.S.. Every time I would say to my parents; "I want to go help." So when Katrina hit, I said to my parents; "This is it, this is big, I can help those people, I want to help those people.." My dad finally took me serious. As an assistant pastor of a big church, he pulled some strings and next thing I knew, I was spending my 2005 winter break (2006 New Years Eve) in New Orleans. I had been watching the news about New Orleans for about 3 months and thought I knew completely what to expect when I got down there. NO. NO. no. no no..You have no idea the feeling you get when you see a house marked with a symbol that someone had died inside, over and over. Here's an example:

Okay, anyways, the media never told stuff like this. The media only showed how angry people were at the lack of government help. I saw NUMEROUS people cry because they were so thankful we were there. I had NUMEROUS people come up to me as I was on Bourbon Street thanking us for what we were doing. What an awesome feeling. I'd do it again if I could. :)
Okay, so I got a little off topic, but point in case; media lies big time. Believe me.

3. The world is boring.
My brother has been to/lived in far more places than myself and he has told me SO many times; "anywhere you grow up, it's basically the same boring thing." Meaning: in high school, you watch movies, you hang out with the people you go to school with, you occasionally do something illegal. But in all comparison, basically the same.
As stated on the website I got this list from (as sited below) they say that unless something exceptional is happening; most of the world is pretty much as boring as your own neighborhood.
Did you know there is now a country with a smaller population than the Vatican City? Because I didn't. But nothing catastrophic has happened there, so there's no big deal to advertise it any time soon.

4. People don't hate Americans.
First answer the question; Why do so many foreigners live in America? If they "hated" us, chances are they wouldn't want to live here. Just my opinion though. As curious as we are about other countries, they are about the U.S...

5. Americans aren't as ignorant as you might think.
I don't think I can explain this section as well as the website I yanked this from. Soooo, read theirs, I promise, it's good.

6. Americans don't travel
I've lived in 6 different American cities by the time I was 14. Each of those 6 towns/cities, I was among the top for traveling and certainly moving. THAT'S JUST WITHIN THE U.S.! Let's not consider vacations to the Bahamas or Jamaica each year as actual travel. Although it is something different, they ARE tourist destinations and not quite the same as "raw" traveling. Besides the fact, a vacation of 2 weeks is almost unheard of now a days.

7. The rest of the world isn't full of germs.
This is controversial. Germs definitely depend on what you've been exposed to; which is different everywhere. We are not used to many things around the world which can cause different immune reactions, but who travels in a Hazmat suit? HahahahA; Only when I was in houses in New Orleans that had gas leaks or mold beyond reason. But lets be serious.

8. You don't need a lot of stuff.
I learned this when I was THIRTEEN!!!! (Granted I am now 20 and have A LOT of stuff; like the rest of America.) But I went on a 4 day backpacking adventure with my brother, and Dana Salah. Four days of need resting on my 100 pound body. Think about it. 4 days of shirts, pants, under ware, food, sleeping bag, etc.....that's a lot. Point is; it doesn't take everything in my house to survive. Let's be serious*.

9. Traveling doesn't have to be expensive.
Also something I learned at a young age. SURE, my family has probably traveled more than yours, but we never had a camper, we usually didn't stay in 5 star hotels, or hotels at all. We usually camped. We packed our own food, there's no need to "go out". We went to national landmarks. They have such a big history and are so fascinating, unlike most public beaches. (Thanks mom and dad--I hate admitting this.) And we drove everywhere....Back in the day driving was way cheaper than flying, and you got to see much more on your way to your destination.

10. Culture matters.
And you have to understand the culture of the places you are visiting and BE RESPECTFUL!! Everyone is proud of their culture, in some way. You might not agree, but be respectful?

11. Culture changes.
Say goodbye to stereotypes. Have an open mind to what something is going to be like, because chances are, it is not what you are expecting. ;)

12. Everyone is proud of where they are from.
If any Serbians are reading this right now; THANK YOU. You've taught me so much, especially you Dejo. My Serbian friends are SO proud of their history. They don't want to forget it. They don't want to conform. I don't blame them. It's who they are. And it makes me sad that I don't have as much amazing history as they do, or as they know.
I say I'm "from" Kansas. I will always cheer for Kansas teams :)
GO PACK GO; superbowl 45....I am proud to be living in Wisconsin this year, no doubt. ;)

13. America and Canada share a similar culture.
I've had multiple friends from Canada. I was honestly shocked when I was told where they were from, I had no idea. Hence the similarity. I've been to Canada. The speed limit throws me off a bit :-p

14. Most people have a deep desire to travel around the world.
Everyone has somewhere they want to go or experience. Even if it's just one place. But that's why the question; If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go?, is such a hard question.

15. You can find the internet almost everywhere.
I have no experience on this. When I was in Canada, I wasn't thinking about the internet. When I was in Matamorous, Mexico I was banned from using technology because of my mission trip focus. Sabetha, Kansas does not support AT&T 3G I can tell you that. Refer to the site for a better response*.

16. In developing countries, government is usually the problem.
Take U.S. for example. ha

17. English is becoming universal.
PLEASE DON'T FORGET YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE. Please keep it. I hope my kids can be bi and tri-lingual. I wish I was. But this point scares me. Because of the story in the bible about the Tower of Babel. If you haven't read it; google it NOW!

18. Modernization is not Westernization.
Refer to Cited below.

19. We view other nations by a different set of criteria than we view ourselves.
You view other people differently than you view yourself. Case in point.

20. Everyone should travel. ;)
This is no deep point. I believe I changed my best friends life from exposing her to different cultures. Who doesn't like a good "hands on" experience? It's the best way to learn and see for yourself.


Picture Site

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Tell me baby, what's your story? Where you come from and where you wanna go this time?

Title comes from "Tell Me Baby" -Red Hot Chili Peppers

I had to write another blog post relatively soon, because I found myself opening my browser to numerous times since my last post. Reading it over and over seeing if I had expressed what I had wanted to. If I had said everything the right way or if I'd said too much or not enough. Anyways...

I have a coworker that I love talking to...I talked to her yesterday about some things and it's really nice to have a mature adult give advice, wisdom, etc, besides my parents. And she knows enough about me to be able to relate well. Anyways, I kind of told her how stressed I am this semester along with some other details and she told me I should write it down. Of course I have this blog, which is meant to express feelings and emotions but she said it's not the same. On here I sensor myself, believe it or not, and if I really want to let out my feelings without talking to someone, write them down then throw it away. It sounded like a good idea and let me tell you, it was empowering. After 2 sentences, the paper was already getting ruined from my tears. After finishing I couldn't believe some of the things I had wrote down and all I wanted to do was rip it up and throw it away, which I did. If I hadn't, I can guarantee I would be going back to that paper, analyzing everything I was thinking, questioning myself, crying more, etc.

So if this doesn't make me sound like a total basket case, I don't know what would. I'm really not a depressed person, most of the time. I think I just have a better understanding of my emotions than most people, and I'm not really afraid to tell you how I feel, not in a bad way, of course.
As with all people, I would never want to admit I have a problem, whether I do or not. "Problems" are self definable. Every person perceives problems in a different way, and there's always someone with bigger issues than yourself.

So my blog, my journal, my friends, paper that gets thrown out, my family, all help me let my emotions out in different ways.

Let's hear about happy Berea shall we? Well, tanning makes me happy. When I get cancer it might not, but at the present it does. So, Why? Maybe the vitamin D? Maybe because it makes me tan and people notice? Maybe the 15 minutes a day I'm laying in a locked room by myself gives me time to think and relax while doing something I enjoy. It keeps me warm when it's -10 degrees out. Okay next thing..
Sleeping makes me happy. Crawling into my bed with my heated blanket on curling up, hugging my body pillow is quite possibly one of my favorite times of the day. Relaxing for the few minutes before I fall asleep. It's nice.
This is sad, but shopping makes me happy. Not necessarily spending money, but it could be as simple as saving money or finding a deal. I don't shop that much as of recently because Christmas took care of that and being in college doesn't really allow for the time or money for this "habit". I do believe in retail therapy though.
Being around my friends makes me happy. I don't know the exact reason, but it's empowering. I guess having other people to reminisce with. Not necessarily dwelling in the past, but talking about events that make you laugh.
Speaking of; I loooove laughing/smiling. Making someone else smile or laugh is the best way to cheer yourself up. I had a friend tell me once that he knew when I was the most sad, because I would make him laugh more, I said yeah it's my way of cheering myself up.

Alright so; I need another job. I'm thinking a weekend job, one night a week. I have some ideas, but I'm running out of money :-\
EE201 is kicking my butt right now. I have no desire to ever be an electrical engineer which is why I have no motivation or focus for this class. Help please??
Week 7 at MSOE sucks. period.
I have an epistemology exam tomorrow. Some studying tonight and I'll be good.

<3 xoxo

Sunday, January 23, 2011

The night is darkest just before the dawn

Why is my heart pounding right now? I am laying in my bed, I have been for 10-15 minutes. I just took my pulse and it was 100. My resting pulse is usually around 60 bpm. I feel like I just sprinted up 3 flights of stairs or I did something wrong that I'm about to get caught for. What is causing this? No idea....

Sorry I haven't talked in a while. Whenever a lot is going on in my life, I tend to stop blogging. Even though I think those are the times I need most to talk to no one about what's going on...

My heart is still pounding, maybe because I don't know how much I should tell the world about my life right now.

Some things on my plate:
My room is a mess right now. Anyone that's ever been in my room knows it is always pretty clean. Sure I've been busy, but a clean room has always been important to me.
Okay, next, I don't have a car right now because my family has it at home. I am already stressed I won't be doing things on my time for the next couple months. I guess this is good because of something you'll see in my next point...
Next point: I have a reaaaally hard time "chilling". I want to be doing something, I want to know what I'm doing in an hour, in 2 hrs, etc. I can only sit on facebook for so long, I can only watch a dumb TV show for so long. I guess I'm scared of not having something to do. Friday at 4:00 rolls around and I don't have plans for the night I get nervous..I don't know, I haven't figured it out yet.
Okay; school.....School. Ugh. I have ultimate Junioritis right now. This semester has been ultra hard on me. I feel like every professor is out to get me. I study and study and study and by looking at some of my tests scores, you'd think hadn't taken 5 minutes to study. It's just really hard on my ego.

BOYS: I am very confused right now. I don't know where to begin. I don't want to leave any details out, because I think they're all important and something I need to talk about. I'll start by saying I am an insecure person. Being alone scares me. I had a 3 year relationship which I have been out of for almost 11 months. I've needed every second of that to learn about myself, but I still find myself wanting a boyfriend. How bad does that sound and why can I not just be fine being single? I mean, I know I can, because I'm sure I could find someone to be my boyfriend if I had that big of a problem. There are a number of reasons I don't want a boyfriend right now including school, friends, and work, but I've made it work before. I just feel I might be more secure with someone there for me when I need, but who doesn't feel like that at least a little. Not to say I don't have awesome friends that are there, but a boyfriend is different.

Next point; I am one of the most self conscious person you will ever meet. This is deep. I am going to blame this on my childhood. To all you people who ever made fun of me for how I look; I want you to know you have ruined a chunk of my life. I'll admit, I hate myself for ever doing this to anyone else. I'm sorry. I'm self conscious because of my guy friends that talk about "hott" girls, and my fear of me not being like that. By telling you this doesn't mean I want sympathy. I don't want you to tell me I'm hott, I won't believe you anyways.

I want a cat. I need a cat? You won't understand if you don't like cats.

My last point; sports 1/23/11. I am soooo sick of hearing about the packers and the bears. You people are crazy. It's one game. Next year, you won't even care about this one game.

I'm kind of running out of motivation for this post. I think I've let off enough steam.

Psalm 55:22
Cast your burdens on the Lord and he shall sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.