Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Twenty. Years. Old.

It's happening all around me. My friends breaking up, hooking up, dating, "talking", seeing each other, etc.
High school is "easy" when it comes to relationships. You know the people from your own school maybe a few others from local schools. The extent of the drama is if your significant other is talking to another person or hanging out with the opposite sex, but nothing like college relationships. In college, you meet a ton of new people, some people start cheating on each other, everyone is changing and growing up, people get drunk/ do drugs and make relationship threatening decisions, and the list goes on. Okay so putting this is perspective, what does this all mean for me or how do I relate?
Well, I've been through my share of relationships, college and high school, I've witnessed mannnny of my friends go through many relationship situations, serious and not so serious.
I went through a major break up about 6-7 months ago when my boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up. I am still currently single, which is a whole nother story. I've been there for my friends and they've been there for me, but things get so much more confusing and complicated at this point of our lives. Couples in different schools, different programs, their backgrounds are a mystery because you did not grow up with many of the people you meet. You don't spend 35 hours a week at the same school in the same classes with your "partner". You don't meet at your lockers in between classes, and much of your time is spent doing what you need to to to get through college. People get apartments and start living together, which complicates things even more. Love can make you do crazy and stupid things, it's love...
I had a friend recently move into our apartment this past week because she was living with her boyfriend and they broke up. I'm her friend, so I'm going to do what I can to be there for her and help her however she needs. 3 of us currently lived here, but extended an invite for her to live in our small extra 4th room. Right now, that's all she needs. She is helping with rent, so we all had no problem with her moving in. She graduates in December, so she thinks that's how long she'll need to stay with us. Anyways, I would want my friend to help me like that, so of course I would do the same.

As for me, life's confusing. I've had a crazy past week. My life always seems to be interesting, I secretly like it that way I think. I was told by a guy this week that I'm kind of known around campus as "hard to get" and don't fall for guys. I don't try to, it's just how I am, and I don't think that's bad. My personality makes it hard for me to be blunt and turn guys down, maybe that's why I have a lot of guy friends, because that's all I'm looking for but I don't give the wrong impression that I'm interested, if I'm not. But anyways, hearing that from a guy is kind of awkward. I don't want to know what guys think of me, in that sense. I don't need to be stuck up about it or think that every guy wants me or something. That's not me.
Anyways, it's been hard for me because I like the comfort of being taken care of and cared about and feeling special by a special person but I'm not going to jump into or force something that doesn't need to happen right now. I am proud of myself for not having a "rebound" guy or falling easy for someone that isn't right. I like to have fun and see what's out there. I'm just trying to settle down, learn about myself, and focus on my future career before I make any rash decisions. Is it hard? EVERY day, but it's good for me and at least I can say I don't regret taking time for myself. Why put something in your life that doesn't make you happy? Happiness is so important to me.

Okay so I am going home for a day this weekend. And is it wrong that I am more than super excited to see my cat? I miss her. She doesn't change. She doesn't tell me about her problems..:) It seems when I'm home, it's never long enough but I always want to come back to Milwaukee. That's good right? I like being both places.

Alright, I have my Ergonomics lab to go to. I shall talk to you later.

1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

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