Monday, August 16, 2010


So I'm leaving in the morning to visit my grandparents in Minnesota. :) Haven't seen them in quite a while so I'm excited. And I've never gone to visit them without my fam. This might be my last trip before summer is over. I've put quite a few miles on my car this summer with going to Colorado and all.
School starts September 7th so I'm trying to enjoy every last day. The weather is finally starting to cool down. Bittersweet. I've had many restless nights of trying to sleep in the heat, so 60's seems very nice. I haven't been to the beach in a while :( I don't know why not. I miss it. I'm really going to miss it in a month and 3 months.
I'm excited for everyone to get back to mil though.
<3 night

Thursday, August 12, 2010


I had an awesome workout today. Why? I watch the news (CNN, Fox, etc...) when I work out so that I don't focus on how long I've been exercising and convince myself I should quit. Anyhew! I always have a good workout when something good is on the news, like today. Headline: Protests for jobless benefits. GAG! I understand that our economy is BAD, horrible, etc. Trust me, my dad has pounded it in my head. Okay, but jobless benefits?...What are we coming to? Let's encourage the lazy to be even lazier. Sure, I'm only 20 and don't have kids or a house, but I go to a private school and have debt. So, should I protest that I deserve a house because I don't have a 60,000 dollar a year job? Hm, nah. If the government gives the unemployed what they want in order to have a good life, what will ever make them want to go back to work?
Next question; I'm glad people have time to protest instead of looking for a job. Haha oxymoron?
Oh politics, never ends. Thank God there are people that like doing that stuff for a living, I just couldn't do it.
I TRY to stay out of it, cause honestly, what do I know? Please don't take any of my comments personally, just something to think about eh?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

When you cant sleep; Blog!

3:40 am.
Possibly everyone I know is asleep somewhere right now, I'm not.
Number one, I'm sweating. No air conditioning, two fans blowing on me, the dew point is almost the same as the temperature. My body just isn't used to this. I wish it was, because I love the heat. But when I'm trying to sleep, I'd rather it be 60 degrees and wrapped up in a comforter. But I shouldn't complain. Winter will be here soon enough and I'll be complaining about the cold.
Number two, I can't get my weight off my mind. I've let myself go way too much this summer. It's too hott to run the oven or turn on the stove to cook a decent meal. It's too hott to go for a run or rollerblade during the day and I don't wake up early enough in the morning or want to be out by myself past dark. I guess I'm just making excuses. I can't complain if I'm not doing anything about it. I've never had someone say to my face that I'm letting my weight get out of control that I can recall. I know I'm not fat, I just don't feel as healthy as I could be. This is an awkward thing to be telling the world about. I don't want you to feel bad for me or tell me I'm not fat, I probably won't listen.
Number three, I have an awkward itch on my throat. I'm thinking some sort of heat rash possibly? Because my neck just started itching tonight, and it's just on my neck. And now that I'm thinking about it, it's itching. next subject....
I need to get to Minnesota. I've been tossing around this idea for weeks. I need to visit my relatives; grandma and grandpa. I don't see them enough. I should have gone this week, but decided that too late. I don't want to drive the 6ish hours alone either. I've never done a drive like that alone. I need to go before the end of summer or it will be another 4 months til I see them. :-\
I'm reading two books right now that also have me thinking. No Shortcuts to the Top and So Long Insecurity. I started No Shortcuts to the Top because after going to Colorado I was inspired to read about hiking/ backpacking and love the stories because they can be so intense at times. And I love to read about stuff my brother kinda does, because he never gives the full story. And I picked up So Long Insecurity because my mom gave it me because I've always had issues with the topic. And it's summer so I have time to read. :)
School school school. Starts in less than a month. gag. This summer has been awesome, I do not want it to end.
Jobs. I think about this toooooo much. I have 3 jobs right now. Let me explain. First; Bookstore at MSOE. I got the job through my roommate who got it through her brother, etc etc. I work there during the school year, 10 hours a week. It's perfect. Enough to make some money. I love my bosses, they are so nice and understanding. School comes first and they completely understand this. Kathy is like a mother. She brings us food and I can tell her about stuff going on in my life. Okay, job number two; Victors. It's a bar, nightclub, restaurant. I'm a cocktail waitress. I've become good friends with virtually all the people I work with. My "boss" is also very cool. I'm very flexible, so when they need me to work, I work. In turn, if I need off, she's very understanding. Thanks Robin :). I usually have a blast at work and make good money. Job three; American Eagle. I am still figuring this job out because it's my newest. I still don't know everybody that works there and am not totally comfortable yet. It's a work in progress. But it's the most stressful because I'm still learning. It has it's pluses and minuses and I'm still figuring out how I'm going to be able to keep all three jobs come school. School is the most important to me and I need to focus on doing good. Period.
I miss my cat, my parents, my brother, homecooked food, air conditioning, best friends, the beach.
I feel like a need a shower cause I'm hot. Oh yeah, the maintenence guy ripped the ceiling out of both of our bathrooms. There was water dripping from the light in one bathroom and the ceiling was kinda molding in the other?...So now, we're waiting for all that to get fixed. On top of not having screens on some of the windows in our house so my roommates let all the night creatures in. ew.
My iPhone 4 is scheduled to be here Wednesday morning. YAY. yay yay;djfasl More on that later.
I have a lot I wanted to do tomorrow (today/Tuesday). But now I'm up til 4am so who knows when I'll wake up. I need to work out, talk to the financial aid department, talk to my bosses at the bookstore to see when they want me to start working again, and go to the bank.
Oh, I also need to call my dentist. Both I've been putting off for weeks, shame on me.
What would make me less stressed: My mom called my dentist to set up an appointment. I knew where I was going to take my loan from. I knew the future of my job at AE. I was 15 pounds lighter. And the humidity would chill out. whew. I think this made me more stressed thinking about what's making me stressed.
Now that I blew off some steam, goodnight.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

What I cant have

"Don't make this think you can have anything you want." -This is the phrase that came from my mom tonight at dinner.
So, yesterday was my birthday and I've been on a bender of eating out it seems, while I was at home with my parents the past few days. Yes, they spoil me. Anyways, I ordered the new iPhone 4G today, which I'll say was a birthday present from my parents. I currently have the 3G, for a little background. So, my mom wanted to make it clear that this doesn't mean I get whatever I want, since this was a big purchase etc etc.
Well, this got me thinking, "What can't I have". I mean, if I can talk my parents into buying me another iphone, and they gave me the car I have and help me financially, how spoiled am I?
I can tell you, I won't be buying a 2010 car anytime soon, I won't be living in a pent house anytime soon, I won't be flying myself to cancun for spring break, I won't be going on huge shopping spree's etc. I can't have everything I want. But what is everything I want? I could say I want to eat at fancy restaurants every night, but I don't. I could say I want to spend hundreds of dollars at the mall, but there are more important things to me. I could say I want a new car, but mine gets me where I need to go. I could say I want to fly somewhere expensive for a vacation, but visiting my brother in Colorado was just as good to me. Sure, luxury things are nice, but I am just as content not having the best. So is it okay that I splurge to get an iPhone? I'd like to think so.
I can't have the perfect boyfriend. I mean maybe some day, but I can't just go grocery shopping for a boy. HAHAHH what a thought....
I can't have the internship I dream of. I mean, hopefully, but it's not as easy as buying an iPhone.
I can't have straight A's.....or, I can't "buy" straight A's.
See, the important things in life you can't buy. That's why they're important. If anyone could buy these things, they would lose value/ worth. That's why I've tried to be less materialistic. I still like to look nice and have good electronics (iPhone), but overall I'd like to think I do better than many millenials/gen Yers.
Hmmm food for thought.