Thursday, March 11, 2010

Beginnings

"Every new beginning is some other beginnings end."

I have a few big new beginnings in my life right now and I thought I would reflect...

Beginning a new semester:
New classes, new professors, new students, new material. This is an easy new beginning. All my classes from last semester are done. I have the grades, there's no turning back, no changing what I did. I am done learning specifically about those subjects (relatively speaking, although some carry on), some professors I will never have again, I might never talk to my lab partners I spent 11 weeks with. But it's all part of the learning process, or else this would all be useless. So, here I am starting a new semester. Figuring out professors and how to be how they want you to be, etc. None of this is bad....again, it's just part of the learning process.

Beginning a new job:
Working in the bookstore is a whole new experience. Unlike working at Shopko or Victorian Village. New bosses, new co-workers, new rules/regulations. Everything I've learned from past jobs I use to make myself a better employee. Sure I make a ton of mistakes because I haven't been taught better, or I don't know how to act around my bosses, but it's all part of learning. And for the most part they understand. I've already met a bunch of people. Not on a name knowing basis, but I've talked to numerous fellow MSOE students, where they learn about me and I a little about them. It's fun to learn things about my surroundings I never knew before. All like hidden secrets I'm slowly uncovering.

Beginning being single:
This is the long awaited topic I dread to be talking about. The biggest part of my life. The most complicated. Relationships may be the hardest thing for me to talk about. I think because I don't understand it. No one does really, but if you're in a good relationship, why do you need to understand, obviously you're doing something right. If you're in a bad relationship, obviously not. So where does that leave me? I don't know, confused. But this is about new beginnings, not necessarily trying to understand things. Okay, so I'm figuring out myself, my friends, my surroundings, my options. It's hard. I hate hard things. One of the most important things my parents taught me when I was little was that it's okay to cry, and let me tell you, I do it a lot. I don't think it's bad if it makes me feel better. Anyways, I'm managing even if it's hard and I hate this "new" feeling. I have a support system of friends that are there for me when things aren't right. I know myself well enough to be able to spend time alone thinking and figuring things out myself. It's a good combination. I don't know what else to say, I'm still figuring things out.

Those are the 3 most important "news" right now. I've been thinking a lot about all of them and that's the best time to write; when I have a lot of things on my mind.
Please keep me in your prayers, that's all I can ask.

:)
The always smiling, Berea

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